HOW TO LIVE A PEACEFUL LIFE

If you were presented with these two options to choose between living a peaceful life or a wealthy life where you can have it all, which would you choose? The word of God says, “Better a dry crust eaten in peace than a house filled with feasting—and conflict.”  Proverbs 17:1. The most amazing thing is that God can bless you with both; He gives peace and wealth to his children so that they may live a life of abundance. But what should you do if you are constantly living on a battlefield? Your mind is troubled, and your heart is saddening with constant unnecessary strife with everyone and even yourself.  It seems like there is a battlefield in your mind, your workplace, your church, your family, your community, neighbors, and even strangers. As a result, you have become short-tempered, angered, bitter and any little thing irritates you, that you have been frustrated with life in general.  

If you are not at peace with yourself, most likely you will not be able to live at peace with others. To live at peace, you need to start with yourself first. Ask yourself these questions what troubles you? Who and what do you give access to that drains the joy out of you?  Are you living a life of repentance? Are you walking in obedience to God? Most importantly, does your soul belong to Jesus Christ? If you are constantly experiencing inner turmoil, that is a sign that you are under spiritual attacks. You may be dealing with fear, guilt, shame, unforgiveness, bitterness, and hate. The truth of the matter is some people have been living their lives like this for so long, they have forgotten how it feels to have inner peace. This way of living has become the norm until they meet someone who is truly living peacefully and joyfully then they realize that they have not been living peacefully.

Recognizing that you are not at peace with yourself is the first step to victory, secondly, ask yourself do you want to be made whole again to receive your freedom to live at peace, or do you want to remain in your brokenness? You may say that you did not cause any of these, it is all because other people have harmed you and mistreated you. But think about it this way, no matter who has harmed you, living a peaceful and joyful life is your choice to make, not someone else’s.  The time has come for you to decide for yourself to leave the past behind and move forward. The word of God says, “As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us.”  Psalm 103:12 God wants to see you blessed, and he wants to see you living at peace, but the question is do you want all God has to offer? If so, you must choose to let go of the bitterness, the hate, the pain, the unforgiveness, the guilt, the fear, the shame, etc. Because as much as God wants to bless you, it is up to you to position yourself and to make room to receive. The only problem is these things that you are holding on the inside are taking the space of your blessings. Not only they are stopping you from receiving what God has for you, but God is also not accepting anything from you. Your service, your offerings, and your gifts to the Lord have been denied because the word of God says everything you do for God has to be done with all your heart, and when your heart is bitter and has unforgiveness, hate, etc.  Not even your praises and your worship are acceptable before the Lord. The word of God says “Who may ascend into the hill of the Lord? Or who may stand in His holy place? He who has clean hands and a pure heart, who has not lifted his soul to an idol, nor sworn deceitfully.  He shall receive blessing from the Lord, And righteousness from the God of his salvation.” Psalm 24:3-5 

How many people do you see in church serving until they have no more strength left, they are doing everything, they give more money in the offering, more of their time, and they worship better than the whole congregation put together but outside of church their lives are upside down, they are dealing with so much chaos that the word peace does not exist in their lives which makes the unbelievers question how can you be involved in everything at church and giving so much of your time and money but yet your life does not reflect God’s blessings, grace and favor?  Well, there is always a condition for receiving God’s blessings, your services and your giving must be done with clean hands and pure hearts otherwise it will all be done in vain. It explains why King David prayed this prayer “Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me away from Your presence, and do not take Your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of Your salvation and uphold me by Your generous Spirit. Then I will teach transgressors Your ways, and sinners shall be converted to You.” Psalm 51:10-13 

Holding someone in your heart for what he or she has done to you, can hurt you more than the action itself. Your unforgiveness will cost you peace of mind and God’s blessing will stop flowing in your life like it should. It is up to you to rise and start fresh, by emptying your heart, letting go of the pain, and embracing the new, forgiving others and forgiving yourself.  The word of God says “So if you are presenting a sacrifice at the altar in the Temple and you suddenly remember that someone has something against you, leave your sacrifice there at the altar. Go and be reconciled to that person. Then come and offer your sacrifice to God. Matthew 5:23–24

It is not shocking at all that you will meet certain people who like to start disagreements and they look for opportunities as well to set up arguments, these people are gossipers, backbiters, liars, the accusers, they love scandals and riots, and they fuel on conflicts. Sadly, these types of people are everywhere in the workplace, with family members, groups of friends, at school, in the marketplace, and surprisingly even at church. You will recognize when these types of people are around because a nice meeting can turn into a battlefield, a pleasant dinner can turn into a disaster, an 8-hour shift at work can turn into prison cells which makes employees want to quit, and in churches, these types of people can cause so much division between members that some people have no choice but to leave the church. How do you maintain peace with those who like to quarrel all the time? The word of God simply says to avoid these people, if you see them coming your way with a hot boiling conversation that they cannot seem to wait to spit out, simply act like you are in a hurry, and you don’t have time to talk, just run. Because once you’ve opened up your mouth to say a word, there is a great percentage you’ve already put yourself in trouble and there goes your peace which now, you may have to work hard to gain back, and sometimes even after you gain it back, things may never return to be the same. However, If you choose to participate in the conversation with these types of people, speak with love and humility and it would be wise to request to have all the people who have been mentioned in the conversation be present to resolve the issue.

2 Timothy 2:23-25 says. “But avoid foolish and ignorant disputes, knowing that they generate strife. And a servant of the Lord must not quarrel but be gentle to all, able to teach, patient, in humility correcting those who are in opposition, if God perhaps will grant them repentance, so that they may know the truth.”

The truth is these people who are the gossipers, backbiters, liars, and accusers, who are stirring up strife among brethren are being used by evil spirits and they may not even be aware of it, therefore instead of being unforgiving toward them, the best thing to is to pray for them so that they may repent and to become set free from any evil spirits that are using them to harm others and to themselves. Also If you have done everything you could, yet somehow the quarrel continues and you still do not have peace of mind, just follow Abraham’s example. Peacefully separate yourself from the person, relocate, and disconnect to keep the peace, Abram said to Lot, “Let us not allow this conflict to come between us or our herdsmen. After all, we are close relatives! The whole countryside is open to you. Take your choice of any section of the land you want, and we will separate. If you want the land to the left, then I will take the land on the right. If you prefer the land on the right, then I’ll go to the left.” Genesis 13 8-9

I hope you find this article helpful, go ahead and share it with a friend. Please refer to the Menu / Wisdom & Inspiration section to read more articles like this one. Subscribe to stay updated with the Wise People United Blog. Don’t forget to leave a comment. Also, check out my YouTube Channel Bonjour Cuisine, for more content like this one.

AUTHOR: Natacha Martino Josselin

HOW TO DECLUTTER YOUR LIFE?


One of the best memories of my childhood was when my family used to schedule a time each year to declutter our home at the end of the year. This process took us at least two weeks to complete. It was like a big project involving everyone in the house redecorating, repainting as needed, and removing things that were no longer useful to make space for the new. So, for those who have had the same childhood experience and enjoyed it as I did, decluttering your life will be a much more straightforward process than for those who did not have that experience, as it is like the operation of decluttering your home.

To declutter your life means getting rid of the things draining the energy out of you, killing your precious time, and depleting you emotionally, physically, and spiritually, leaving you with just a little strength to get by daily. To cut off anything affecting your health, joy, peace, and enthusiasm for what God created you to do. One way to recognize that you may need to declutter your life is if you have not seen much progress toward your goals at the end of each year.

The Holy Spirit is an awesome teacher who can teach you how to live right and how to get rid of things that you are willing to give up. The Holy Spirit can replace them with the will of God for your life. The way you start by decluttering your life is by having a kingdom mindset, before you start doing anything ask yourself if it will matter in eternity and, if it will benefit your body, soul, and spirit. Will it make a difference in the lives of others and as a result help them find the light and bring them closer to God? 

How many things do you have on your to-do list?  Are they causing you to be so distracted to the point that you are not able to notice what truly matters the most? Have you stopped focusing on “The good part that cannot be taken away from you?” Perhaps you may say that you are doing the most work, yet you watch your coworker who is not doing much get the promotion that you’ve always wanted. Perhaps you are extremely busy serving God, you are involved in all the ministries in your church and your community, and you may think that God approves of all your busyness. But the truth is that God is not interested in all the activities you claim to be doing for him. God takes pleasure when you stop everything else, you are doing to sit down at his feet and give him your undivided attention, spending quality time with him to hear about what he has to say to you, and then he will reveal to you what he needs you to do for him, now that’s intimacy. Becoming so close to him that you that your heart beats for the thing that truly matters to him, what grieves him grieves you, and you rejoice in the things that he takes pleasure in as well. Decluttering your life is a great way to prove to God that you genuinely want to make yourself available to hear from him.

Let us learn this lesson from the two sisters: Martha and Mary. Martha clearly was good with hospitality, and she had a great idea as she welcomed Jesus and the disciples into her home as they were passing through her village, but what could ever go wrong with wanting everything to look perfect, to be so highly focused on all the preparations, cooking, serving, cleaning making sure everything was on point, that she started to worry about not getting enough help from her sister? 

Luke 10:38-42 As Jesus and the disciples continued on their way to Jerusalem, they came to a certain village where a woman named Martha welcomed him into her home. 39 Her sister, Mary, sat at the Lord’s feet, listening to what he taught. 40 But Martha was distracted by the big dinner she was preparing. She came to Jesus and said, “Lord, doesn’t it seem unfair to you that my sister just sits here while I do all the work? Tell her to come and help me.” 41 But the Lord said to her, “My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details! 42 There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her.”

Martha was the one doing all the serving by herself, and anyone who was at their gathering that day could have looked at both sisters thinking that Martha was the one doing the right thing and could have felt that she should have gotten at least some recognition for all the serving she was so focused on. But Jesus said it was her sister Mary who sat down at his feet who had chosen the good part and could not be taken away from her. Martha was so frustrated with her sister Mary and asked Jesus “Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to serve alone?”

Now this is where most people make the mistake of thinking they must do everything and surely God will care or should care because they are doing all these activities for him, when really, they should ask God instead, Lord what do you care about? Show us and then we will take action to get it done. How do you know that you have not chosen “the good part” like Mary did? Well, you are frustrated with yourself and with others, you are constantly complaining about the work you are doing, and you are not serving with joy and gladness. 

Religion teaches that the more work you do for God the better person you are in God’s eyes or the more God will love you. However, God’s word emphasizes this again and again, it is not about the work that you do so that no one would be able to boast about how much work they are doing in comparison to others. So, why the overbooked schedule that you barely have time to breathe? God’s intention when he created you was not for you to work so hard until your body gives up, dies, and then goes to heaven, God wants you to enjoy life. 

So now you are clear on why you don’t need to engage yourself in doing so many things, it’s time to declutter your life, be okay with denying some requests, make time to pray, meditate, time to worship God, and focus on what He tells you to do, spend more time with your family, check on your closest friends who love you dearly. Stop wasting time on useless projects that will not even matter or make any difference in months, years to come, and most importantly in eternity.  After you are done with the decluttering process, work on your mindset to learn how to have a better approach to your work. Let us consider some scriptures on how to work God’s way, not your way, and not the world’s way.

God wants you to include him in your work.

Proverbs 16:3 “Commit your works to the Lord, and your thoughts will be established.”

God wants you to work to provide for your family. 

1 Timothy 5:8. “But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.”    

God wants you to work for his kingdom.

John 6:22 “Do not work for food that spoils, but for food that endures to eternal life, which the Son of Man will give you. For on him, God the Father has placed his seal of approval.”

God wants you to enjoy the revenue of your work.

Ecclesiastes 5:18 “Here is what I have seen: It is good and fitting for one to eat and drink, and to enjoy the good of all his labor in which he toils under the sun all the days of his life which God gives him; for it is his heritage.”

God takes notice of your work. 

Hebrews 6:10 “For God is not unjust to forget your work and labor of love which you have shown toward His name, in that you have ministered to the saints, and do minister.” 

God does not want you to covet.

Hebrews 13:5 “Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”

God wants you to be faithful in all the work you do.

Luke 16:10 “He who is faithful in what is least is faithful also in much, and he who is unjust in what is least is unjust also in much.”

God wants to give you favor in the work that you do.

Psalm 90:17 “Let the favor of the Lord our God be upon us and establish the work of our hands upon us; yes, establish the work of our hands!”

God wants you to honor him with your increase.

Proverbs 3:9 “Honor the Lord with your possessions, And with the first fruits of all your increase;”

God wants you to pay your tithes. 

Malachi 3:10 “Bring the full tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. And thereby put me to the test,” says the Lord of hosts, “if I will not open the windows of heaven for you and pour down for you a blessing until there is no more need.”

God does not want you to be greedy.

1 Timothy 6:10 “The love of money is a root of all kinds of evil, for which some have strayed from the faith in their greediness and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.”

God wants you to be a blessing to others.

Luke 6:38 “Give, and it will be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For with the measure, you use it will be measured back to you.”

I hope you find this article helpful, go ahead and share it with a friend. Please refer to the Menu / Wisdom & Inspiration section to read more articles like this one. Subscribe to stay updated with the Wise people United Blog. Don’t forget to leave a comment. Also, check out my YouTube Channel at Bonjour Cuisine, for more content like this one.

AUTHOR: Natacha Martino Josselin

HOW TO THRIVE AS A SINGLE PERSON & HOW TO DATE AS A CHRISTIAN

1 – Know who God says you are and seek to be refined.

Make it a focus to better yourself by spending time in prayer, learning God’s word, and fellowshipping with a group of believers; get to know yourself better, learning to be ok with who God made you to be.

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Seek to know your flaws, bring them to God in prayer, and be willing to allow the Holy Spirit to work on you. Do your part by reading and listening to godly podcasts. Create good habits, surround yourself with spirit-filled people who can pour goodness into you, and find mentors to mentor you in the things God called you to do and in the areas where you know that you need a lot of help. You can also observe someone from afar who can be an example for you spiritually, professionally, or in any other aspects where you may need to refine yourself. One of the managers I have worked closely with was my example. I have observed him and learned a lot from his leadership skills. I don’t even think he knew I was taking notes on his administrative skills and wisdom on how to run a company effectively with so many employees.

Scripture: “Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me and lead me in the way everlasting.” Psalm 139:23-24

2 – Accept the season that you are in and stay focused on your assignment.

Make it intentional to understand the timing that you are in, and do not rush yourself into doing the things you see others are doing.

The problem with not accepting the season you are in is that you can become unjoyful and ungrateful you start comparing and competing with others.

For example, when you are rushing to get involved in a love relationship with the opposite sex, getting engaged, getting married and having children, or even envying a carrier you may see someone else has. You risk making the wrong decisions when you rush yourself into these things.

 You hear that comparison kills joy, but it can cause you to delay your assignment. Instead of focusing on the lessons you are supposed to learn and the things you should focus on doing, you become overwhelmed by negative thoughts and feelings you begin to feel restless. You start doubting yourself and even the promises God made over your life. As a result, you find yourself doing things you are not supposed to be doing to please yourself or try to match with other people’s success. Eventually, you feel that all these works and efforts do not bring you joy. So, what do you need to do to get back on track?

  • Accept the season that you are in.
  • Know your assignment and focus on doing it right.
  • Eliminate all sorts of distractions.
  • Discipline/organize yourself.
  • Compete with yourself and no one else.
  • Stay Consistent.
  • Finish with Joy and excellence.

PRAYER: Lord Jesus, you said in your word that your yoke is easy, and your burden is light, yet sometimes I feel overwhelmed. Please reveal to me the things I have picked up on my own to carry that cause me to feel restless, the things that cause me to lose joy, peace, and contentment.

Set me free from all the things you did not assign me to do and help me shift my focus back on the assignment you have for me to do in this season of my life. I desire to remain focused, to complete it on time, with joy and excellence. All the glory belongs to you.

Scripture: Matthew 11:29-30 Take my yoke upon you and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

3- Seek to build your intimacy with God.

Make it intentional to dwell in God’s presence as much as possible while you are still single. It is one of the best times of your life to build your intimacy with God, and the younger you are, the less exposure you need, treat yourself like a diamond that is in the making because there is a lot to be learned, a lot of wisdom you need to gain and a lot of practice that you need to do. Let’s take King David as an example; the day he killed Goliath was not the day he practiced. He had been in the secret place with God getting direct strategies on how to kill a lion who came to attack his flock. So, when King David saw Goliath mocking the Israelites and thought that no one would be able to face him, King David was not afraid of Goliath because he knew that God was with him. He was confident that he would be able to conquer Goliath. Likewise, when you spend time with God, you can identify when a relationship is right or wrong for you because your spirit is in sync with the Holy Spirit. You can have confidence in the Lord that he will direct you to make the right choice.

Scripture: Proverbs 3:6 In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.

4- Invest in your education and learn new skills.

Spend time educating yourself, take the time to learn different subjects, and become familiar with various topics because that will give you the ability to communicate effectively with all groups of people. Make it a goal to continue to educate yourself as much as possible. Don’t just focus on getting a degree but also learn new skills. Do not limit yourself to just getting a carrier work for 50 years and then retiring. God has a great plan for your life as promised Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope

Scripture:  Romans 1:14-17. 14 I am a debtor both to Greeks and to barbarians, both to wise and to unwise. 15 So, as much as is in me, I am ready to preach the gospel to you who are in Rome also. 16 For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ, for it is the power of God to salvation for everyone who believes, for the Jew first and for the Greek. 17 For in it the righteousness of God is revealed from faith to faith; as it is written, “The just shall live by faith.”

5-Invest in others, volunteer, and offer your time.

Get busy for God and Invest in other people’s lives whenever you get the opportunity to do so because there will come a time when you find yourself not having much time to do so. You will look back and miss the opportunities you did not take to invest in others. As you move forward, you will have more responsibilities to handle, and you will be obligated to shift priorities. Here is a list of things you can do with your time to thrive while you are single.

1- Be influential to the people you meet at school and in the workplace.

2- Get involved and volunteer at city events to spreading the Gospel.

3- Travel as a missionary and bring the Gospel to lost souls.

4- Give your time and talents to serve others in your community.

5-Shine your light on social media. Share the Gospel and words of encouragement with others.

Scripture: 1 Timothy 4:12-16

12 Let no one despise your youth, but be an example to the believers in word, in conduct, in love, in spirit, in faith, in purity. 13 Till I come, give attention to reading, to exhortation, to doctrine. 14 Do not neglect the gift that is in you, which was given to you by prophecy with the laying on of the hands of the eldership. 15 Meditate on these things; give yourself entirely to them, that your progress may be evident to all. 16 Take heed to yourself and to the doctrine. Continue in them, for in doing this you will save both yourself and those who hear you.

RELATIONSHIP GOD’S WAY

  1. Being in a relationship with the opposite sex.
  2. Seek confirmation from God. Pray together.
  3. Building the friendship through time.
  4. Set boundaries and clear goals.
  5. Get to know each other’s parents and friends.
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DATING: When the opportunity comes for you to start dating because you have already spent the time allowing God to work on you, mold you, and invest in you. In addition, you have invested the time to better yourself educationally, financially, etc. You will be able to have the wisdom not to make a hasty decision to start a relationship with anyone who comes your way. And you will be able to set boundaries and make it clear that you will not compromise your Christian values at any point in the relationship. You can only do these things when you have a certain level of maturity, spiritually and emotionally. During the dating period, use this time to get to know the person by building a friendship, getting to know the person’s character, weaknesses, and strengths, and analyzing if you are becoming better or worse. If you are sure that you both are serious about dating each other, then it is time to let the closest people to you know that you are in a relationship. Such as your parents, siblings, and friends. They will hold you accountable and can also help nurture your relationship with each other. Spend the time in prayer to know if this is God’s divine will for the both of you. Surround yourself with other godly married couples who have already gone through the dating journey. They can mentor you and be an example for both of you.

ENGAGEMENT: When it comes time for engagement: Use the opportunity to plan your marriage, not just the wedding, and build trust, loyalty, and core values for your relationship. Create short-term goals and long-term goals on which you can start to build the foundation for the family that you will create together in the future. If you missed out on being vulnerable with each other throughout the dating period, then use the engagement time to show who you are, don’t wait till you get married to throw a spin on your partner. Be prepared to have meaningful conversations such as personal issues, health, finance, etc., and understand the person who truly loves you and means to be with you will still move forward regardless of the good, the bad, and the ugly. The example of true LOVE is demonstrated in 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7

 Scripture: 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7 “Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not [a]puffed up; 5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, [b]thinks no evil; 6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”

HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU’RE DATING THE RIGHT PERSON.

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1 – You love God and can encourage and strengthen each other in the faith.
2- You are patient with each other; you do not feel pressured to be engaged in pre-marital sex Or any other ungodly activities.
3- There are no hidden agendas, such as self-seeking, taking advantage of, abusing, lying, cheating, etc.
4 – You beautify one another by becoming strong in the weaker areas of your life.
5- You are confident about each other trusting and having each other’s back.
6- You involve each other in the short-term and long-term goals.
7- Those around you start to look up to you as an example.

I hope you find this article helpful, go ahead and share it with a friend. Please refer to the Menu / Life & Culture section to read more articles like this one. Subscribe to stay updated with the Wise Women United Blog. Don’t forget to leave a comment. Also, check out my YouTube Channel at Bonjour Cuisine, for more content like this one.

AUTHOR: Natacha Martino Josselin

COMMUNICATING UNDER PRESSURE

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I have worked overall for five years with disabled clients in two different settings. One set was in person and required face-to-face interaction where it was much easier to listen, understand, and pay attention to the body language and the gestures, which most of the time gave away the non-verbal communication. I could see the intensity of the client’s discomfort; it was easier to understand when help was needed right away. However, the other set was to communicate strictly over the phone or via email which required a higher level of communication skills. Communicating over the phone with clients who were facing ongoing crises daily because their lives have changed drastically for the worse due to a car accident, a medical treatment complication, injury on the job, or due to a sudden report of a terminal disease. These conversations were hard to have, and they were never pleasant.

The way I handled these difficult conversations was to first sound friendly and uplifting over the phone, pay attention to their tone, even the background noise and I let them do most of the talking because I figured most of the time, they simply needed someone to listen to them and show empathy and it worked. When it was my turn to talk which usually happened due to a natural pause during the conversation, I would repeat what they have said to me to make sure I heard the client correctly. I asked questions to understand where they were coming from, and at the end, I would offer up a solution if I had any. Then a few days later I would do a follow-up to make sure the issue was resolved.  

I have realized we all could use this type of service even if we are not going through these crises. Sometimes we need someone who has good listening skills to listen to us without being judgmental or jumping to a conclusion. When you are facing some prominent level of stress It is important to at least have that one person in your life that you are inclined to and motivated to listen to because of the level of caring, empathy, loyalty, and trustworthiness this person has shown to you. Be sure to use mindful listening techniques when this person is commutating with you because you know that you can rely on this person’s advice, he or she has your best interest in mind and this person can help you figure out a solution to your problem. Having a good listening skill means when you engage in a conversation you are giving the person your undivided attention without interrupting, and you are focusing on what the person is saying not on what you will say next.  

When it comes to communication “There are four types of communication skills; Assertive, passive, aggressive, and passive-aggressive.” My communication style has always been more on the assertive side. I express what is on my mind clearly with confidence and with respect even when I know that the other person may disagree with my take on the subject because I like to hear others’ perspectives to see if there is anything I can learn from their point of view. I enjoy deep conversation and avoid small talks. I like a meaningful conversation where the person I am speaking with is fully engaged, and expresses their thoughts without reserve, if possible, there would be less room for misunderstanding.

I also must admit that my communication style can also switch to passive aggressive where I use a lot of sarcasm or I am emotionally withdrawn from the conversation depending on if the person I am speaking with is making me feel a certain way such as being disrespected, feeling judged, not taken seriously, etc. When it comes to listening, I realize that I could be better when it comes to speaking to people who have a record of telling lies or who do not live up to their words or even to people who are in the habit of spreading rumors gossip. I tend to show less interest in listening, I also notice that I may not communicate effectively in these types of situations. My body language may show that I am not interested in continuing the conversation and the person may hear it in my tone. Therefore, there is room for improvement in practicing to be a good listener and a good communicator regardless of how accurate, respectful, and agreeable the other person may be. In the end, what matters is how I handle the conversation.  

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What about you? Do you communicate well and listen effectively? What type of communicator are you? Are you assertive, aggressive, passive, or passive-aggressive?  What are the techniques that you use when you face an inconvenient situation? If there is room for improvement, what would you work on to become better?

Soup Joumou’s Recipe & History

When I think about a recipe that I am familiar with that is passed down from generation to generation that is significant in my culture, the first recipe that comes to mind is Soup Joumou. Soup Joumou is so famous in Haitian culture not just for its delicious taste but for its history. The island Hispaniola which is now known as the Haiti Republic and the Dominican Republic, was divided into two colonies according to history France colonized Haiti and brought slaves from Africa to work in plantations to enrich France with coffee, tobacco, sugar, herbs, etc. The Soup Joumou was a delicacy prepared and served to the French slave owners only. However, things changed when the enslaved Haitians revolted against the French and fought for their freedom in 1804.

I grew up in Haiti and lived there for 15 years. I spent years of my childhood and early teenage years learning about Haitian heritage. Although Haiti has been through a lot of turmoil, Haitians have a lot of pride in their history/ food, and culture. This pride runs deep as Haiti is the first Black independent country in the world. Haitians who migrate to other countries bring the Creole influence with them wherever they go, and when it comes to food it is one of the most important things in our culture, it is even more important than the two languages Creole and French we speak in my opinion. For example, based on my observation Haitian Americans may not focus on teaching their kids to learn to speak Creole or Français, but most of them will try to show their kids how to cook Haitian food. Soup Joumou is eatable any day of the year, in our culture, we mostly reserve it for Independence Day. Haitians celebrate Independence Day with a delicious bowl of Soup Joumou every year.

Haiti became free from France in 1804, so I assume that Soup Joumou is an old recipe before 1804. The recipe was passed down orally since most of the slaves did not know how to read and write, except for those who were taught by their masters. This recipe varies from household to household. It all depends on the family’s preferences. Certain vegetables may be added or removed from the recipe however, the number one vegetable that cannot be removed is the pumpkin because it is the main ingredient of the recipe. Because I am so passionate about Haitian food, I created a YouTube called Bonjour Cuisine where I share all the Haitian food recipes that I learned from my grandma and aunties. On YouTube, I keep my recipes simple to help the young Generation of Haitian Americans learn how to cook Haitian food. Surprisingly even people who are not Haitian follow the channel because somehow, they were introduced to Haitian food and became passionate. One of my number one famous recipe on my YouTube channel is over 100K Views and it is my Soup Joumou Recipe.

Soup Joumou Recipe: Here is the Link to my Yoube Recipe: https://youtu.be/FryOz9Ibkos

Step 1

Place meat in a large prep container, pour vinegar, lime juice, and salt over the meat, cover with a lid, and let stay for 15-20 minutes. This process will tenderize the meat. Rinse under chilly water and drain excess water to remove the salt, lime juice, and vinegar. Season the meat with the Haitian Epis which is a blended paste of fresh garlic, parsley, scallions, bell peppers, onions, and salt. Let it marinate for 30 minutes in the fridge. Remove from the fridge, cover with water, let it simmer, and cook for 30 – 40 minutes.

Step 2

Boil squash in a large pot separately until cooked, strain, and use the liquid to prepare the soup. Bring the liquid to a simmer, add the cooked meat and chopped cabbage, celery, malanga, carrots, and the rest of the vegetables, add the spicy sauce, the bouquet of fresh herbs, the penne, and the noodles let simmer over low heat, stirring occasionally and taste to adjust the salt and seasoning. Let it cook slowly, turn off the heat, and let it cool. Serve the next day preferably the flavor will be even more delicious.

Ingredients: 3-pound stew beef cut into 1″ cubes, 2 pounds of beef bones 1 pound of smoked pork meat mixed with bones, 7 tablespoons of Haitian epis seasoning, 1/2 cup of vinegar 1/2 cup of fresh lime Juice, 2 tablespoons of Hot Sauce, 2 tablespoons seasoned salt, 1 tablespoon of fresh garlic, 1 large chop onion powder, 3 teaspoons kosher salt, 2 teaspoons freshly ground black pepper, a bouquet of fresh parsley and thyme Scotch Bonnet pepper and cloves, 1 large calabaza, 2 butternut squash 2 mixed bell peppers green and red, 6  russet potatoes, 4 carrots (about 1 pound), sliced, 1/2 green chopped cabbage, 1 large onion, sliced, 1 celery stalk, coarsely chopped, 3 Malanga, 1 large turnip, finely chopped, 1 green Scotch bonnet pepper, 1 cups penne pasta, 1 cup of noodles, Extra Large Pot of Dutch pan and large spoon.