1 – Know who God says you are and seek to be refined.
Make it a focus to better yourself by spending time in prayer, learning God’s word, and fellowshipping with a group of believers; get to know yourself better, learning to be ok with who God made you to be.
Seek to know your flaws, bring them to God in prayer, and be willing to allow the Holy Spirit to work on you. Do your part by reading and listening to godly podcasts. Create good habits, surround yourself with spirit-filled people who can pour goodness into you, and find mentors to mentor you in the things God called you to do and in the areas where you know that you need a lot of help. You can also observe someone from afar who can be an example for you spiritually, professionally, or in any other aspects where you may need to refine yourself. One of the managers I have worked closely with was my example. I have observed him and learned a lot from his leadership skills. I don’t even think he knew I was taking notes on his administrative skills and wisdom on how to run a company effectively with so many employees.
Scripture: “Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me and lead me in the way everlasting.” Psalm 139:23-24
2 – Accept the season that you are in and stay focused on your assignment.
Make it intentional to understand the timing that you are in, and do not rush yourself into doing the things you see others are doing.
The problem with not accepting the season you are in is that you can become unjoyful and ungrateful you start comparing and competing with others.
For example, when you are rushing to get involved in a love relationship with the opposite sex, getting engaged, getting married and having children, or even envying a carrier you may see someone else has. You risk making the wrong decisions when you rush yourself into these things.
You hear that comparison kills joy, but it can cause you to delay your assignment. Instead of focusing on the lessons you are supposed to learn and the things you should focus on doing, you become overwhelmed by negative thoughts and feelings you begin to feel restless. You start doubting yourself and even the promises God made over your life. As a result, you find yourself doing things you are not supposed to be doing to please yourself or try to match with other people’s success. Eventually, you feel that all these works and efforts do not bring you joy. So, what do you need to do to get back on track?
- Accept the season that you are in.
- Know your assignment and focus on doing it right.
- Eliminate all sorts of distractions.
- Discipline/organize yourself.
- Compete with yourself and no one else.
- Stay Consistent.
- Finish with Joy and excellence.
PRAYER: Lord Jesus, you said in your word that your yoke is easy, and your burden is light, yet sometimes I feel overwhelmed. Please reveal to me the things I have picked up on my own to carry that cause me to feel restless, the things that cause me to lose joy, peace, and contentment.
Set me free from all the things you did not assign me to do and help me shift my focus back on the assignment you have for me to do in this season of my life. I desire to remain focused, to complete it on time, with joy and excellence. All the glory belongs to you.
Scripture: Matthew 11:29-30 Take my yoke upon you and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.
3- Seek to build your intimacy with God.
Make it intentional to dwell in God’s presence as much as possible while you are still single. It is one of the best times of your life to build your intimacy with God, and the younger you are, the less exposure you need, treat yourself like a diamond that is in the making because there is a lot to be learned, a lot of wisdom you need to gain and a lot of practice that you need to do. Let’s take King David as an example; the day he killed Goliath was not the day he practiced. He had been in the secret place with God getting direct strategies on how to kill a lion who came to attack his flock. So, when King David saw Goliath mocking the Israelites and thought that no one would be able to face him, King David was not afraid of Goliath because he knew that God was with him. He was confident that he would be able to conquer Goliath. Likewise, when you spend time with God, you can identify when a relationship is right or wrong for you because your spirit is in sync with the Holy Spirit. You can have confidence in the Lord that he will direct you to make the right choice.
Scripture: Proverbs 3:6 In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.
4- Invest in your education and learn new skills.
Spend time educating yourself, take the time to learn different subjects, and become familiar with various topics because that will give you the ability to communicate effectively with all groups of people. Make it a goal to continue to educate yourself as much as possible. Don’t just focus on getting a degree but also learn new skills. Do not limit yourself to just getting a carrier work for 50 years and then retiring. God has a great plan for your life as promised Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope
Scripture: Romans 1:14-17. 14 I am a debtor both to Greeks and to barbarians, both to wise and to unwise. 15 So, as much as is in me, I am ready to preach the gospel to you who are in Rome also. 16 For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ, for it is the power of God to salvation for everyone who believes, for the Jew first and for the Greek. 17 For in it the righteousness of God is revealed from faith to faith; as it is written, “The just shall live by faith.”
5-Invest in others, volunteer, and offer your time.
Get busy for God and Invest in other people’s lives whenever you get the opportunity to do so because there will come a time when you find yourself not having much time to do so. You will look back and miss the opportunities you did not take to invest in others. As you move forward, you will have more responsibilities to handle, and you will be obligated to shift priorities. Here is a list of things you can do with your time to thrive while you are single.
1- Be influential to the people you meet at school and in the workplace.
2- Get involved and volunteer at city events to spreading the Gospel.
3- Travel as a missionary and bring the Gospel to lost souls.
4- Give your time and talents to serve others in your community.
5-Shine your light on social media. Share the Gospel and words of encouragement with others.
Scripture: 1 Timothy 4:12-16
12 Let no one despise your youth, but be an example to the believers in word, in conduct, in love, in spirit, in faith, in purity. 13 Till I come, give attention to reading, to exhortation, to doctrine. 14 Do not neglect the gift that is in you, which was given to you by prophecy with the laying on of the hands of the eldership. 15 Meditate on these things; give yourself entirely to them, that your progress may be evident to all. 16 Take heed to yourself and to the doctrine. Continue in them, for in doing this you will save both yourself and those who hear you.
RELATIONSHIP GOD’S WAY
- Being in a relationship with the opposite sex.
- Seek confirmation from God. Pray together.
- Building the friendship through time.
- Set boundaries and clear goals.
- Get to know each other’s parents and friends.
DATING: When the opportunity comes for you to start dating because you have already spent the time allowing God to work on you, mold you, and invest in you. In addition, you have invested the time to better yourself educationally, financially, etc. You will be able to have the wisdom not to make a hasty decision to start a relationship with anyone who comes your way. And you will be able to set boundaries and make it clear that you will not compromise your Christian values at any point in the relationship. You can only do these things when you have a certain level of maturity, spiritually and emotionally. During the dating period, use this time to get to know the person by building a friendship, getting to know the person’s character, weaknesses, and strengths, and analyzing if you are becoming better or worse. If you are sure that you both are serious about dating each other, then it is time to let the closest people to you know that you are in a relationship. Such as your parents, siblings, and friends. They will hold you accountable and can also help nurture your relationship with each other. Spend the time in prayer to know if this is God’s divine will for the both of you. Surround yourself with other godly married couples who have already gone through the dating journey. They can mentor you and be an example for both of you.
ENGAGEMENT: When it comes time for engagement: Use the opportunity to plan your marriage, not just the wedding, and build trust, loyalty, and core values for your relationship. Create short-term goals and long-term goals on which you can start to build the foundation for the family that you will create together in the future. If you missed out on being vulnerable with each other throughout the dating period, then use the engagement time to show who you are, don’t wait till you get married to throw a spin on your partner. Be prepared to have meaningful conversations such as personal issues, health, finance, etc., and understand the person who truly loves you and means to be with you will still move forward regardless of the good, the bad, and the ugly. The example of true LOVE is demonstrated in 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7
Scripture: 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7 “Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not [a]puffed up; 5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, [b]thinks no evil; 6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”
HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU’RE DATING THE RIGHT PERSON.
1 – You love God and can encourage and strengthen each other in the faith.
2- You are patient with each other; you do not feel pressured to be engaged in pre-marital sex Or any other ungodly activities.
3- There are no hidden agendas, such as self-seeking, taking advantage of, abusing, lying, cheating, etc.
4 – You beautify one another by becoming strong in the weaker areas of your life.
5- You are confident about each other trusting and having each other’s back.
6- You involve each other in the short-term and long-term goals.
7- Those around you start to look up to you as an example.
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AUTHOR: Natacha Martino Josselin
