COMMUNICATING UNDER PRESSURE

I have worked overall for five years with disabled clients in two different settings. One set was in person and required face-to-face interaction where it was much easier to listen, understand, and pay attention to the body language and the gestures, which most of the time gave away the non-verbal communication. I could see the intensity of the client’s discomfort; it was easier to understand when help was needed right away. However, the other set was to communicate strictly over the phone or via email which required a higher level of communication skills. Communicating over the phone with clients who were facing ongoing crises daily because their lives have changed drastically for the worse due to a car accident, a medical treatment complication, injury on the job, or due to a sudden report of a terminal disease. These conversations were hard to have, and they were never pleasant.

The way I handled these difficult conversations was to first sound friendly and uplifting over the phone, pay attention to their tone, even the background noise and I let them do most of the talking because I figured most of the time, they simply needed someone to listen to them and show empathy and it worked. When it was my turn to talk which usually happened due to a natural pause during the conversation, I would repeat what they have said to me to make sure I heard the client correctly. I asked questions to understand where they were coming from, and at the end, I would offer up a solution if I had any. Then a few days later I would do a follow-up to make sure the issue was resolved.  

I have realized we all could use this type of service even if we are not going through these crises. Sometimes we need someone who has good listening skills to listen to us without being judgmental or jumping to a conclusion. When you are facing some prominent level of stress It is important to at least have that one person in your life that you are inclined to and motivated to listen to because of the level of caring, empathy, loyalty, and trustworthiness this person has shown to you. Be sure to use mindful listening techniques when this person is commutating with you because you know that you can rely on this person’s advice, he or she has your best interest in mind and this person can help you figure out a solution to your problem. Having a good listening skill means when you engage in a conversation you are giving the person your undivided attention without interrupting, and you are focusing on what the person is saying not on what you will say next.  

When it comes to communication “There are four types of communication skills; Assertive, passive, aggressive, and passive-aggressive.” My communication style has always been more on the assertive side. I express what is on my mind clearly with confidence and with respect even when I know that the other person may disagree with my take on the subject because I like to hear others’ perspectives to see if there is anything I can learn from their point of view. I enjoy deep conversation and avoid small talks. I like a meaningful conversation where the person I am speaking with is fully engaged, and expresses their thoughts without reserve, if possible, there would be less room for misunderstanding.

I also must admit that my communication style can also switch to passive aggressive where I use a lot of sarcasm or I am emotionally withdrawn from the conversation depending on if the person I am speaking with is making me feel a certain way such as being disrespected, feeling judged, not taken seriously, etc. When it comes to listening, I realize that I could be better when it comes to speaking to people who have a record of telling lies or who do not live up to their words or even to people who are in the habit of spreading rumors gossip. I tend to show less interest in listening, I also notice that I may not communicate effectively in these types of situations. My body language may show that I am not interested in continuing the conversation and the person may hear it in my tone. Therefore, there is room for improvement in practicing to be a good listener and a good communicator regardless of how accurate, respectful, and agreeable the other person may be. In the end, what matters is how I handle the conversation.  

What about you? Do you communicate well and listen effectively? What type of communicator are you? Are you assertive, aggressive, passive, or passive-aggressive?  What are the techniques that you use when you face an inconvenient situation? If there is room for improvement, what would you work on to become better?