Tag Archives: Life lessons

HOW TO LIVE A PEACEFUL LIFE

If you were presented with these two options to choose between living a peaceful life or a wealthy life where you can have it all, which would you choose? The word of God says, “Better a dry crust eaten in peace than a house filled with feasting—and conflict.”  Proverbs 17:1. The most amazing thing is that God can bless you with both; He gives peace and wealth to his children so that they may live a life of abundance. But what should you do if you are constantly living on a battlefield? Your mind is troubled, and your heart is saddening with constant unnecessary strife with everyone and even yourself.  It seems like there is a battlefield in your mind, your workplace, your church, your family, your community, neighbors, and even strangers. As a result, you have become short-tempered, angered, bitter and any little thing irritates you, that you have been frustrated with life in general.  

If you are not at peace with yourself, most likely you will not be able to live at peace with others. To live at peace, you need to start with yourself first. Ask yourself these questions what troubles you? Who and what do you give access to that drains the joy out of you?  Are you living a life of repentance? Are you walking in obedience to God? Most importantly, does your soul belong to Jesus Christ? If you are constantly experiencing inner turmoil, that is a sign that you are under spiritual attacks. You may be dealing with fear, guilt, shame, unforgiveness, bitterness, and hate. The truth of the matter is some people have been living their lives like this for so long, they have forgotten how it feels to have inner peace. This way of living has become the norm until they meet someone who is truly living peacefully and joyfully then they realize that they have not been living peacefully.

Recognizing that you are not at peace with yourself is the first step to victory, secondly, ask yourself do you want to be made whole again to receive your freedom to live at peace, or do you want to remain in your brokenness? You may say that you did not cause any of these, it is all because other people have harmed you and mistreated you. But think about it this way, no matter who has harmed you, living a peaceful and joyful life is your choice to make, not someone else’s.  The time has come for you to decide for yourself to leave the past behind and move forward. The word of God says, “As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us.”  Psalm 103:12 God wants to see you blessed, and he wants to see you living at peace, but the question is do you want all God has to offer? If so, you must choose to let go of the bitterness, the hate, the pain, the unforgiveness, the guilt, the fear, the shame, etc. Because as much as God wants to bless you, it is up to you to position yourself and to make room to receive. The only problem is these things that you are holding on the inside are taking the space of your blessings. Not only they are stopping you from receiving what God has for you, but God is also not accepting anything from you. Your service, your offerings, and your gifts to the Lord have been denied because the word of God says everything you do for God has to be done with all your heart, and when your heart is bitter and has unforgiveness, hate, etc.  Not even your praises and your worship are acceptable before the Lord. The word of God says “Who may ascend into the hill of the Lord? Or who may stand in His holy place? He who has clean hands and a pure heart, who has not lifted his soul to an idol, nor sworn deceitfully.  He shall receive blessing from the Lord, And righteousness from the God of his salvation.” Psalm 24:3-5 

How many people do you see in church serving until they have no more strength left, they are doing everything, they give more money in the offering, more of their time, and they worship better than the whole congregation put together but outside of church their lives are upside down, they are dealing with so much chaos that the word peace does not exist in their lives which makes the unbelievers question how can you be involved in everything at church and giving so much of your time and money but yet your life does not reflect God’s blessings, grace and favor?  Well, there is always a condition for receiving God’s blessings, your services and your giving must be done with clean hands and pure hearts otherwise it will all be done in vain. It explains why King David prayed this prayer “Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me away from Your presence, and do not take Your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of Your salvation and uphold me by Your generous Spirit. Then I will teach transgressors Your ways, and sinners shall be converted to You.” Psalm 51:10-13 

Holding someone in your heart for what he or she has done to you, can hurt you more than the action itself. Your unforgiveness will cost you peace of mind and God’s blessing will stop flowing in your life like it should. It is up to you to rise and start fresh, by emptying your heart, letting go of the pain, and embracing the new, forgiving others and forgiving yourself.  The word of God says “So if you are presenting a sacrifice at the altar in the Temple and you suddenly remember that someone has something against you, leave your sacrifice there at the altar. Go and be reconciled to that person. Then come and offer your sacrifice to God. Matthew 5:23–24

It is not shocking at all that you will meet certain people who like to start disagreements and they look for opportunities as well to set up arguments, these people are gossipers, backbiters, liars, the accusers, they love scandals and riots, and they fuel on conflicts. Sadly, these types of people are everywhere in the workplace, with family members, groups of friends, at school, in the marketplace, and surprisingly even at church. You will recognize when these types of people are around because a nice meeting can turn into a battlefield, a pleasant dinner can turn into a disaster, an 8-hour shift at work can turn into prison cells which makes employees want to quit, and in churches, these types of people can cause so much division between members that some people have no choice but to leave the church. How do you maintain peace with those who like to quarrel all the time? The word of God simply says to avoid these people, if you see them coming your way with a hot boiling conversation that they cannot seem to wait to spit out, simply act like you are in a hurry, and you don’t have time to talk, just run. Because once you’ve opened up your mouth to say a word, there is a great percentage you’ve already put yourself in trouble and there goes your peace which now, you may have to work hard to gain back, and sometimes even after you gain it back, things may never return to be the same. However, If you choose to participate in the conversation with these types of people, speak with love and humility and it would be wise to request to have all the people who have been mentioned in the conversation be present to resolve the issue.

2 Timothy 2:23-25 says. “But avoid foolish and ignorant disputes, knowing that they generate strife. And a servant of the Lord must not quarrel but be gentle to all, able to teach, patient, in humility correcting those who are in opposition, if God perhaps will grant them repentance, so that they may know the truth.”

The truth is these people who are the gossipers, backbiters, liars, and accusers, who are stirring up strife among brethren are being used by evil spirits and they may not even be aware of it, therefore instead of being unforgiving toward them, the best thing to is to pray for them so that they may repent and to become set free from any evil spirits that are using them to harm others and to themselves. Also If you have done everything you could, yet somehow the quarrel continues and you still do not have peace of mind, just follow Abraham’s example. Peacefully separate yourself from the person, relocate, and disconnect to keep the peace, Abram said to Lot, “Let us not allow this conflict to come between us or our herdsmen. After all, we are close relatives! The whole countryside is open to you. Take your choice of any section of the land you want, and we will separate. If you want the land to the left, then I will take the land on the right. If you prefer the land on the right, then I’ll go to the left.” Genesis 13 8-9

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AUTHOR: Natacha Martino Josselin

COMMUNICATING UNDER PRESSURE

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I have worked overall for five years with disabled clients in two different settings. One set was in person and required face-to-face interaction where it was much easier to listen, understand, and pay attention to the body language and the gestures, which most of the time gave away the non-verbal communication. I could see the intensity of the client’s discomfort; it was easier to understand when help was needed right away. However, the other set was to communicate strictly over the phone or via email which required a higher level of communication skills. Communicating over the phone with clients who were facing ongoing crises daily because their lives have changed drastically for the worse due to a car accident, a medical treatment complication, injury on the job, or due to a sudden report of a terminal disease. These conversations were hard to have, and they were never pleasant.

The way I handled these difficult conversations was to first sound friendly and uplifting over the phone, pay attention to their tone, even the background noise and I let them do most of the talking because I figured most of the time, they simply needed someone to listen to them and show empathy and it worked. When it was my turn to talk which usually happened due to a natural pause during the conversation, I would repeat what they have said to me to make sure I heard the client correctly. I asked questions to understand where they were coming from, and at the end, I would offer up a solution if I had any. Then a few days later I would do a follow-up to make sure the issue was resolved.  

I have realized we all could use this type of service even if we are not going through these crises. Sometimes we need someone who has good listening skills to listen to us without being judgmental or jumping to a conclusion. When you are facing some prominent level of stress It is important to at least have that one person in your life that you are inclined to and motivated to listen to because of the level of caring, empathy, loyalty, and trustworthiness this person has shown to you. Be sure to use mindful listening techniques when this person is commutating with you because you know that you can rely on this person’s advice, he or she has your best interest in mind and this person can help you figure out a solution to your problem. Having a good listening skill means when you engage in a conversation you are giving the person your undivided attention without interrupting, and you are focusing on what the person is saying not on what you will say next.  

When it comes to communication “There are four types of communication skills; Assertive, passive, aggressive, and passive-aggressive.” My communication style has always been more on the assertive side. I express what is on my mind clearly with confidence and with respect even when I know that the other person may disagree with my take on the subject because I like to hear others’ perspectives to see if there is anything I can learn from their point of view. I enjoy deep conversation and avoid small talks. I like a meaningful conversation where the person I am speaking with is fully engaged, and expresses their thoughts without reserve, if possible, there would be less room for misunderstanding.

I also must admit that my communication style can also switch to passive aggressive where I use a lot of sarcasm or I am emotionally withdrawn from the conversation depending on if the person I am speaking with is making me feel a certain way such as being disrespected, feeling judged, not taken seriously, etc. When it comes to listening, I realize that I could be better when it comes to speaking to people who have a record of telling lies or who do not live up to their words or even to people who are in the habit of spreading rumors gossip. I tend to show less interest in listening, I also notice that I may not communicate effectively in these types of situations. My body language may show that I am not interested in continuing the conversation and the person may hear it in my tone. Therefore, there is room for improvement in practicing to be a good listener and a good communicator regardless of how accurate, respectful, and agreeable the other person may be. In the end, what matters is how I handle the conversation.  

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What about you? Do you communicate well and listen effectively? What type of communicator are you? Are you assertive, aggressive, passive, or passive-aggressive?  What are the techniques that you use when you face an inconvenient situation? If there is room for improvement, what would you work on to become better?